Hello everybody. I am Her-man. I am a candidate for the Republican Party presidential nomination. “Her” refers to all the vulnerable women I groped giving them false assurances of job offers. I cain’t beat Obama with a cane because I am too old, stupid and horny to be the president. If you don’t believe me, read a transcript of my interview below. I have no political experience and have no chance of beating Obama in the next election. So who else but me to screw up this country.
Reporter: How do you plan on bringing the economy back on track?
Herman Cain: Nine-Nine-Nine
Reporter: That’s not going to be enough.
Herman Cain: Nine-Nine-Nine-Nine-Nine
Reporter: What is your foreign policy strategy?
Herman Cain: Nine-Nine-Nine
Reporter: That’s it?
Herman Cain: Whoa. Okay. Nine-Nine-Nine-Nine-Nine
Reporter: How do you plan on carrying the Republican legacy left by Bush?
Herman Cain: That’s easy. Nine-Nine-Nine
Reporter: What about the country’s unemployment?
Herman Cain: I grope Nine women. Nine women get job hope. Nine women go home distressed.
